I am not sure how many of you will relate to this, but one of the things the questions helped me become aware of, was my assumptions about asking for help. I had all kinds of rules like I had to pay for it, or I could only ask if I did something back for them or I had to be at my wits end to ask.
For some weird reason I never wanted to put others out or inconvenience them but would happily offer my time and help at the drop of a hat.
I have recently found a way to behave like an adult in adult relationships, which has resulted in building relationships where I can accept help, gifts of kindness and support without feeling in debt. ( and of course this is a work in progress it is an old habit to break) The awareness in itself has been of great benefit to me.
It has been so refreshing to be able to share some of the responsibility without guilt.
This was not an instant thing and it has been a journey over the past 12 months, in January 2012 I set myself the task of exploring what needs to happen for me to write a book. I dedicated the year to learning how to be heard and understood.
There transpired to be a correlation between asking for help and being clear about what I wanted.
I often knew what I did not want but could not articulate what I did want.
At first it seemed very complicated but as I was asked the questions it soon became very simple, I wanted to be okay with who I am and for others to acknowledge our similarities and respect our differences.
My starting point was to do just that, as I acknowledged the similarities and noted the differences it soon became obvious that others were far better equipped to do some things than I was.
More importantly they loved doing it. Yes some I contracted work to, but with others we have forged amazing relationships that allow us to work in synergy.
Most of this work has taken place with my business associates, team members and even clients. This year it is my hope and desire to transfer that learning to my family. Giving me the opportunity to understand them better and work out how we work at our best together.
How to solve problems at work effectively?
What needs to happen for you to ask for help?
I have heard many from:
- I have to be virtually dying
- I just can’t, the words get stuck in the my throat
- I only do it when I have lost all control and shout
- The only way I get help is if a play weak and I won’t do that.
Imagine how your health could be impacted if you have to be ill to ask for help, curious isn’t it?
Please do share what works for you to ask for help and delegate. Know this is your next step in personal development but not sure how to make it happen don’t miss our next Do, Delegate or Ditch retreat dates. You can either work with us for 2 days in a retreat environment or starting in 2014 we are launching a 4 part programme which will run over 4 weeks and you can work with us via the telephone.
Thanks for Listening