Are you wasting your time trying to help others?


In this article I want to explore one of the fundamentals principles of Extreme Listening for Productive Thinking which is that you are to hold back your opinions and judgements if you want to open your mind to the potential of a more productive way of helping others.

Take a moment to think about a time when you shared your opinion.

How do you know if that opinion was conducive to helping them to:

  • think for themselves
  • think more productively
  • come up with a solution that they would buy into and action with enthusiasm

What currently determines when you share a judgement or opinion?

What has worked? What is working? about sharing what you think ‘they’ should do, be, believe etc

Take a moment to notice and become more aware over the next few days when you share your pearls of wisdom. Notice when it works and when it is not working. Consider:

What would need to happen for it to work better?

Here is my opinion and I am placing it on the table in front of you, you can take it or leave it because what I do know is if you ask yourself the questions above you will find the answer that is right for you.

In my opinion when if we give advise, suggestions and opinions before they are requested we are inadvertently implying that we think they can’t think of their own answers.

Even when someone does ask me for my opinion I check and when you have my opinion then what happens? You will be surprised how often it is all about seeking your approval. So I often say well I can give you my thoughts but I reckon your thoughts will be much better for you, why don’t we explore those first and if you are still wanting my thoughts then at least we will both have greater clarity and the thoughts I share maybe more appropriate.

How many hours this week have you spent listening to others with the intention of helping and supporting them, you have shared your thoughts provided possible solutions and yet nothing changes?

What would happen if you could change the way you listen, so that they could think more productively and develop the solution for themselves?

If you would like to experience being asked the questions to think more productively about how you could better support others then please do check out our introductory sessions or   try our Free Self Coaching activities



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