Your Selling Skills? Butterfly or Baby Elephant?

Improve Listening Skills – Improve Selling Skills

improve listening skills

One of the most important qualities I have had to develop for life and for selling is patience. Often in my enthusiasm to help my ‘selling’ seemed more like a baby elephant trampling all over people leaving them feeling unheard or respected.

You probably have come across people like that haven’t you? If it was me in my earlier days I am sincerely sorry now for any discomfort I caused please forgive me I was learning.

I remember those days now with fondness and a little bit of embarrassment. I was working really hard long hours and yet people just didn’t get me. I worked when I my children were at school and or in bed. I rarely took time off and yet I was so keen to make other people’s lives better I was completely unaware that 1. I was leaving them feeling bad and 2. I was not taking my own advise.

When I am selling at my best I am like a gentle butterfly and yet I can move very rapidly to the baby elephant if I think I lack time or I have a fear of what will happen if I don’t act now.

To improve my listening skills and therefore my selling skills I had to take away the herd instinct of the elephant to stampede. I had to slow things down in my mind and my life to notice that everything will be okay and staying calm, elegant and strong is far more effective than enthusiasm driven by fear. Fear that the other person would suffer unnecessarily without me or fear of not earning enough money this month. Both are equally damaging.

One of the greatest benefits of The Power Group Model is that it gives you the opportunity to learn how to be the best you can be in any group. With gentle and manageable feedback about the impact you have on others you can gain greater understanding and clarity why your verbal communications are not getting you the response you want.

In one such Power Group session I discovered that when I am selling in a way the feels right and I get results consistently I am like a colourful butterfly, gentle and bright. I hover and people are attracted to the colours, they come over to me and ask me questions. They are curious and I listen which often results in a successful outcome for us both. 

I developed this metaphor back in 2012 and yet more recently I have discovered that although it feels right for me it can often feel quite different for others when I speed the process up due to time pressure or fear.

By asking for timely and effective feedback I have been able to became aware that sometimes it felt more like a baby elephant. 

Selling skills? Butterfly or Baby Elephant?

Is your ability to sell an idea or concept holding you and your business back?

What happens to your family when business is not working at it’s best?

Can you sell ideas to your family and your team?

Can you sell ideas to yourself?

Having a metaphor for each of the skills you need to work and learn at your best can give you greater awareness and insights allowing you to open up a simple and straight forward pathway to success.

How to improve listening skills

 Today (9th July 2014) as I update the article which was originally published in June 2012 I am working towards a 20 hour week and only working 41 weeks a year. Time therefore is even more important and therefore I am mindful the baby elephant could appear. With this in mind I have started a 90 day focus to be stronger and more elegant now I want to be like a ballerina.

As I write this update I am noticing that the butterfly is elegant and beautiful and it does attract people however the strength and discipline of the ballerina is going to be vital to reduce my hours without sacrificing my income or trampling over others.

If you would like to find out more about the live case study and follow the ballerina as she gets stronger and more elegant please feel free to join our closed group here.

Alternatively try these self coaching questions:

When you are selling yourself in a way that feels right you are like what?

When you are selling at work in a way that feels right you are like what?

When you are selling an idea to your family and it works that’s like what?

Notice which one you can answer easily. Develop that answer then be curious can you transfer that to the other areas of your life?

Above is the profile picture I use now and below is the one I had for 3 years. I think the one above represents the butterfly and I am curious what profile photo will represent the ballerina.

About The Founders

How to improve your listening skills

Sheryl Andrews, Founder of Step by Step Listening and designer of the The Power Group Model is a mum of a blended family of 5 children and is well known for her fast speaking and highly motivational passion to help others achieve. She is also no stranger to challenging conversations, lapses in self belief and an overwhelming sense of not being enough. On the outside to everyone else you might have thought all was okay but how she was feeling inside was often a different story. Sheryl often found it difficult to know how to ‘fit’ in both in her family and in social groups. She found learning difficult and avoided it.  

That was until 2008 when she discovered the work of David Grove and was introduced to Clean Language.  This solution focused questioning technique gave her the tools she needed to learn how she could learn and work in any group at her best. As a result of that she developed the power group model which is a framework to for individuals to learn how to work and learn in a group without negatively impacting others or sacrificing their own needs. This model is now used by parents, teachers, managers and business owners to improve meetings, networking, appraisals and discussions.

how to improve your listening skills

Ros Bristow Co- Founder, mum of 3 daughters and a grandmother is a women of immense strength and compassion.  Desperate to get help for her teenage daughters she took the courageous decision to spend thousands of pounds to send her daughters to the other side of the world to attend a wilderness development programme in Colorado USA. Despite this amazing intervention and the respite this programme gave her she still felt she lacked the skills personally to manage herself and her family long term. With this in mind Ros trained as a coach which helped her develop strategies to be more assertive and stronger. But still something was missing. This is when Ros approached Sheryl and started as a client with Step by Step Listening in 2010 to develop the skills to listen and empower change in her family as well as growing her then 3 businesses.

One Group Listening Model – Many Applications

For as little as £59 per month and 36 hours over a year you can learn how to focus your attention on what works and learn how to work, learn and live at your best in any group environment without negatively impacting others or sacrificing what you need.

Don’t know how call us now….+44(0)1329 286648

We are more than happy to have a no obligation chat and we have plenty of taster sessions and free resources on line.


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