How to Lead a Team

How To Make A Good Decision About BNI?

 How To Lead A Team

This is a site dedicated to sharing, success stories and strategies that our clients have developed after investing in their own leadership training and development. Our specialist programmes give you time to gain clarity, focus and understanding whilst developing vital leadership skills such as:

  • non judgemental listening
  • non assumptive questioning
  • Focused feedback

Motivate, Manage or Mentor is a unique programme that introduces you to simple and effective ways to set you and your team up for successful feedback.

How To Make A Good Decision About BNI?

How to lead a team - Leadership training

One of my best decisions was to join BNI.  In a previous article on the Step by Step Listening site I explained Why it took me 4 years to join BNI.

On reflection, I have recognised that this all came down to the fact that my decision making process has been enhanced through Power Groups over the past 4 years. Every time I have made a decision I have had to evaluate what worked and what didn’t work, helping me to fine tune my own decision making process.

I don’t think BNI have changed much in the four years that it took for me to make the decision. They still have lots of rules, they still expect a lot from their members, and they still want you to make plenty of referrals.  They still want proper referrals – not faffy leads.  They still expect 100% attendance so that every week members have a meeting worth giving up their valuable time for.  They still have worldwide connections.  They still have a proven system for referrals that work.  They still read out job descriptions and rules every week and still ‘SEEM’ to have leaders that talk more than they listen.

I say ‘SEEM’ because the other big decision I made this time when I joined BNI was not to sit in the corner making assumptions and moaning. I decided that if someone said something that grated on me, I would ask for a coffee and chat so that I could ask some more questions and build a relationship with that person so that I could really understand what they meant – rather than making up my own interpretation of it.

I found that my chapter Director was a great source of support when I bothered to make the time to ask questions to understand the BNI process without judgement. Since joining I have now become the Chapter Director and this too has been an opportunity to gain leadership training and development. I do my best to role model Fiona my first chapter director.

Fiona is pretty unique in that she allowed me to ask questions, and she was not defensive, she never tried to prove me wrong.  She simply listened and explained what worked for her and why, and when it didn’t work, how she managed it. I was not left with the feeling that ‘the system is easy so you must be stupid if you don’t get it!’

I know that my attitude and intention behind the questions had changed also. 4 years ago I talked to everyone and anyone about BNI, apart from the people in BNI. I asked questions to prove I was right. Funny how that usually works – if you want someone else to look bad, they will because that is where your attention is.

How can you transfer this learning to  your team? Firstly think about time perhaps you jump in and tell people that what they are thinking is wrong instead of listening to understand exactly what they mean and where their understanding has come from.

The principles of Clean Language is to ask a question you don’t know the answer too and to hold back your judgement and assumptions.

If your business can handle more business and you want to learn how to lead your team more effectively then please do check out your local BNI chapter.

Being a member of BNI has provided me with vital feedback and peer support.

Personal development task today:

For you to listen and ask questions without judgement or assumption you need to be like what?

Take a moment to reflect and consider that question for a moment.

Can you?

Thank you for reading this article.

How to Lead a Team

This is a site dedicated to sharing and raising aspirations of your team. If you have found it useful please share how to lead a with your friends.

About the Author

How to lead a team

Sheryl Andrews, Founder of Step by Step Listening and designer of the The Power Group Model is a mum of a blended family of 5 children and is well known for her fast speaking and highly motivational passion to help others achieve. She is also no stranger to challenging conversations, lapses in self belief and an overwhelming sense of not being enough. On the outside to everyone else you might have thought all was okay but how she was feeling inside was often a different story. Sheryl found it difficult to speak up and have her needs met as well as that of her clients, her team and her family. Learning how to improve her listening skills and how to create peer support without peer pressure was vital to improving her performance and happiness. Today Sheryl shares with you her own 10 step strategy that empowers her to work, learn and live at her best more of the time. Sheryl has a big open heart and will do everything she can to create a learning environment that is safe for you to develop the resources you need to be the best version of you that you can be. You will feel heard, understood and valued. Sheryl will believe in you even when you don’t and will encourage you to notice and celebrate what makes you unique and of value.

Would you like:


  • Clarity, focus and direction
  • To unravel what assumptions and misconceptions might be holding you back
  • To Develop resources to be the best you, that you can be
  • Plan your next best step with confidence


Don’t know how call me now….+44(0)1329 286648

I am more than happy to have a no obligation chat to understand what is happening for you now and what you would like to have happen or download my free self coaching guide “Success Without Stress”

Free Step By Step Listening Guide

Free Motivational Monday Newsletter

Listen Lunch and Learn Introductory Sessions

Follow Step By Step Listening on Social Media

Blog Post Social Media Icons Facebook Blog Post Social Media Icons Twitter Blog Post Social Media Icons LinkedIn Blog Post Social Media Icons YouTube


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *