How to shine as a team leader?

Today I was reading about  Karen Williams up and coming event star biz conference  which I highly recommend for everyone who wants to shine, it is a great line up of speakers including another client of ours Roberta Jerram of Giant Potential.

Anyway I digress, with this event in mind and chatting to some fellow attendees of the recent clean conference. One thing that resonated with me about both of these events is

 that these were genuine conferences, where no one is an expert in everything, but those that had a passion and purpose or perhaps more simply had discovered something that worked for them, were willing to share their success. It was not for a fee but for the greater good to make a difference.(although for some I am sure it could well follow because that is what happens when you build relationships)

I think one of the biggest challenges we face as leaders is that perhaps we put too much emphasis on the teams performance, being a direct reflection of whether we are any good. What happens if we share stuff? Does it mean we won’t get credit within the team or as the leader?

Think about it for a moment when a team member fails to do something what happens to you?

When they achieve something what happens to you?

I have heard it more than once that perhaps a team member does something and then feels the leader took credit or perhaps the team leader made a mistake and the team member take the fall.

What is this all about? What is happening in your team right now?

As a clean language facilitator and having recently attended my own development group with Marian Way of Clean Learning this weekend we were exploring emergence.

As we did that I recognised that even as a really experienced facilitator the session was now more about whether I was getting it right. For that moment it was OK, the environment was set for me to learn however if I were to carry that forward into my sessions and discussions with me team then what happens?

What does emerge from you and your team when it is about you?

I know for me my discussions with my team are never effective when it is about me, what I need, what I want or what I don’t want.

I am at my best as a leader when the shine is on them. The spot light, the glory the highlighting of their strengths, their own resources and enabling them the means to shine.

So when is the spotlight on you, when do you get to shine. Well if your are part of a bigger organisation then it could be that your line manager provides you with the same space where the focus is on you. But for many the buck often stops with you. If you are the founder or business owner how do you shine as a team leader?

For me I remember the very first Dale Carnegie book I ever read in the late 1980’s How to win friends and influence people?

The fundamental message I got from that is still with me today is that you have to just accept that ‘you know’ you made the difference. You have step looking for gratitude or appreciation, have to just know for yourself.

Now I like this idea in theory but it is hard when you are looking for evidence that you are doing a good job. This is where power groups are great, imagine if you could meet with other people who are leaders, sit around the table and share openly what you have noticed has worked, what is going well and have that developed and understood by peers. It could be leaders within your organisation or it could be leaders from other works of life.

You see I think how leaders shine is to meet with other leaders, when you are actually leading, ironically you have to almost slip into the background in that moment, it is not about you it is about the team. Belinda Butler attended a one day seminar about the extreme listening process we use and this is what she said:

If you would like to experience the power of a power group and you would like a moment to shine then please don’t miss our up and coming events.

Thank you for listening

Sheryl

We are currently developing a FREE 6 day tutorial with a report followed by 5 or 6 short videos sharing how to ask the questions to get results, the importance of tone and pace, why using the other persons words matters. the power of metaphor and the importance of space. Please leave your details below if you would like to receive the FREE report and the daily tutorials for 6 days.

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9 thoughts on “How to shine as a team leader?

  1. You are right Sheryl, you become more effective when you ‘just know’ you have made a difference. And that I think comes from confidence. A bit like something you said recently about coaching clients. You know you have done a good job with your clients, you don’t need to know they have actually taken the action. That bit is up to them. You just know.

  2. A great topic Sheryl and one, as you know that is incredibly close to my own heart!
    Here’s the thing. There are people with the title ‘leader’ and then there are those I would call: True Leaders.

    True Leaders love people. Fact. There are a lot of people out there who’d call themselves a ‘people person’ though.

    So how come true leaders are so few and far between?

    Often leaders cannot be recognised because of their camouflage. And it, I believe, takes one True Leader to bring out another true leader.

    It’s like the statue of David.

    When people asked Michelangelo how he successfully produced such a magnificent masterpiece, his answer was along the lines of (in Italian of course!) “It wasn’t that big a deal. David was always in there. Hidden in the marble. All I did was chip away the excess and polish him up.”

    We are all, potentially, a great leader. Yet some of us have never had a sculptor, artist or mentor there with us, to chip away the outer shell, and to add structure, definition and polish to the leader that is revealed.

    There are many stories of great athletes and sports people who have become truly great at what they do, because they happened to ‘fall into’ the great hands of a great coach. The same has been happening down through the ages for example: the greatest composers, scientists, artists, musicians and even nowadays, on shows like The Voice where often the public watching their TVs don’t necessarily see in a budding new artist what the coach sees.

    Truth is: It takes one to know one. You have to live it.

    True Leaders behave in a certain way because they think in a certain way. And they know how to control their thinking.
    A true leader is aware of their thoughts and chooses which ones to let in.

    And good thoughts produce good results. And give credit where credit is due.
    The secret to getting different results is to know what you are thinking and to choose your thoughts carefully and to recognise new leaders emerging.

    A True Leader knows that being a leader is a never ending process of learning and becoming. It all starts with BEING. The making of everything about a great leader starts from within.

    It’s an interesting subject as to become a leader requires that we have to do it for ourselves, however we also need to acknowledge that we can’t do it alone.

    I believe a great leader instinctively sees the latent possibility in future leaders in their organisation. It’s a skill I’ve certainly spent 20+ years consciously honing (consciously yet also trusting my instincts) and I can now spot a potential true leader with relative ease, right from the early days in their business.

    However, ‘they gotta wanna!’ A whole different subject…..

    Roberta

    1. Hi Roberta,

      so beautifully put can I copy this and put it as a seperate article today please
      if you send me a photo I can include it of you as the author if you like

      Sheryl

        1. Hi Roberta
          Great I will add this in and hopefully we can combine this with your interview about your own leadership style what works and even what doesn’t work for you. I look forward to that. Did you get the email about spotlight and the potential dates to interview you? Sheryl

    2. So many great points Roberta! I totally agree about seeing the leader in people, but them not seeing it for themselves. It always strikes me as such a shame when people with great potential can’t or maybe won’t allow themselves to go for it and see what happens! Many are so worried about what might go wrong, I prefer to focus on! What might go right

      My hope is that they achieve more than they ever thought they could and grow in confidence and feel proud of themselves, that is when i get my reward!

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