I just don’t get why my child does that?

One of the hardest things when parenting is learning how to understand the reactions or behaviours of your child. Now we don’t have all the answers but we do have a discussion model that works for you to gain greater understanding of what works for you and your child.

This week I have learned my 17 year old daughter a real anti smoker and anti drinker is pushing all the boundaries and doing it all. I have used these questions on myself to fully understand how I want to be through this. I know nagging does not work, it would seem giving her money to help her out also does not work if she is going to spend it on things like this so I will have to review this.

If you are frustrated because your child won’t talk to you, and they are doing things that make you worry, try the questions:

Have you ever found yourself angry or mad and not quite been able to put your finger on why you have flown off the handle?

Have you ever found yourself holding back and not speaking up for fear it might upset someone?

Have you ever done something that you know is not good for you but you do it anyway?

If you are like me then all of the above has happened at some point. Imagine that your child has been angry or done something they know is wrong, what if like you, they don’t know why?

The chances are they are as bemused and as surprised at themselves as you are.

What you can do right now is ask yourself the questions to gain a greater understanding of why you do what you do and what you would like to have happen next:

What is happening now?

What would you like to have happen?

What would your child like to have happen?

How do you know that?

What would you like to have happen in relation to your relationship with them?

Give yourself some time to answer these questions. Notice what you notice. Please do share your thoughts below. Any insights you share will inspire others as well as help you to take your thinking to the next level and plan your next best step with confidence.


Recognise your learning

What do you know NOW as a result of reading this, that perhaps you did not know before?

What difference does knowing that make, if any?

Plan your next best step

What would you like to have happen next?

Can you?

Thanks for Listening

Check out Living at your best Power Groups for our next Family Power Group days, where we ask you the questions so you can take your next best step with confidence

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