Oops I Upset Someone Else Today

Setting you up for Success

Today a friend caught me unawares and hit a nerve. My knee jerk reaction was to give my opinion about something I did not like about her even though it was not asked for. The end result was not as I would have liked for either of us.

Timing in this case was particularly important and so was the space we had the conversation. This friend is never comfortable on the phone and I love to know what is coming. When she called out of the blue and started talking about this subject I was not prepared and that resulted in me talking to her about something she did not expect.

Neither of us were set up for success.

Yes I am human, and I mess up but I have the tools to set this conversation up for success. I have since had the conversation over a coffee and we now have greater understanding of each other. I had to give myself some feedback to each that. I asked myself what has worked before and when is the best time to listen to her, when can I give her my ear instead of my opinion?

When a conversation is not going how you want it to, who is responsible?

Them or you?

If you find yourself blaming either yourself or them it can often leave you feeling stuck. 

Discussion success is a two way process and we find step 3 the set up questions can help you set the conversation up for success.

Giving and receiving feedback is one areas where we see so much time wasted.

Respecting how other people need to be to receive your opinions and thoughts is essential. Otherwise the person often spends more time talking about how you gave the feedback rather than acting on the feedback.

What works for you when receiving feedback?

Have you ever thought about where you are and what kind of feedback works?

What is your intention when you give your opinion/feedback?

I find with some people I am really opiniated and others I avoid giving my opinion for fear I will upset them. I am pleased to say that the 8 step strategy has given me the tools to surround myself with people who do give and receive effective feedback.

My team tell me if I am talking too fast or they don’t understand something I have said or done. They take responsibility for their interpretation and they ask questions to gain greater understanding. I never feel challenged instead I feel like my team care enough to want to really understand.

It is often a balance between what you delivered and what the other person interprets.

Likewise many people take very little responsibility, they assume the other person to be too sensitive or too touchy.

The Step by Step Listening discussion model allows you to develop greater understanding of what works for you enabling you to develop your own bespoke communication solutions.

Timing can be such a vital key when it comes to giving and receiving feedback.

A confident sales person will be happy to let go now and keep in touch recognising a ‘no’ as, no not for now and that simply the time is not right.

A parent will often work out what time of day is the best time of day to approach their teen with a particular question.

A wife or husband often have ‘good’ times to tackle difficulf conversations.

Your team and your clients are no different. Rather than guessing what works for them why not ask them?

If you are beating your head against a brick wall, or walking around with a knot in your stomach because a conversation you keep having or want to have is bothering you, please do book on our FREE Strategy call or try out our Power Groups for a special trial price of just £25.

Thank you for listening

How to make good decisions






Founder and Power Group Facilitator







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